Divorce Adjustment Factors

Divorce (what we call the "death of a marriage") takes its toll on everyone involved. When divorce becomes a reality in a family, there are are some factors that can lessen the impact of divorce.

Lessens The Impact of Divorce

  • Parents do not put children in the middle.
  • Children are told about the separation.
  • Children are aware of the conflict between parents.
  • Children are not held responsible for the divorce.
  • Children are not used for parental support.
  • Children receive support from significant people.
  • Parents resolve personal anger.
  • The absent parent stays in contact with the child.
  • Siblings.
  • Family moves into new schedule fairly quickly.
  • Other environmental factors remain stable.
  • Each parent frequently spends individual time with each child.
  • Parents assist each child with individual adjustment reaction.
  • Children are allowed to grieve.
  • Family focuses on the positive and the future.
  • Parents had previous good relationship with the child.


Increases the Impact of Divorce

  • Children are asked to choose between parents.
  • Children are not told about the separation or are given little information.
  • Parents hide conflict and angry feelings.
  • Children are made to fell that divorce is their fault.
  • Parent relies on child for personal support.
  • Children are isolated from family and friends.
  • Parents are unable to resolve anger.
  • The absent parent has little contact with the child.
  • Only child.Family remains disorganized long after separation.
  • Life is greatly changed: school, neighborhood, parent's work hours and so on.
  • Little individual attention is given to children.
  • Parents are not aware of individual adjustment reactions.
  • Loss is denied—no grieving is allowed.Family focuses on present calamity.
  • Child had not previously felt loved or valued by parents.

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