Team Co-Captains in a Blended Family

At the very center of every athletic team there is a captain, or sometimes co-captains. This role usually falls to the most respected player(s), who can speak for the team when decisions need to be made both on and off the field of play. The role of father and mother often falls closely to that of team co-captains. They are expected to lead the blended family and have the respect of all the children involved. That role and the respect for it do not come by verbal mandate but by the hands-on experience over the long haul. Too many mothers and fathers march into a blended family and demand the respect, obedience, and trust they have not earned. Consequently, they may never receive it.

We live in a world of instantaneousness. If what we want is not instantly attainable, our tendency is to give up and go elsewhere. Dads and moms in blended families who commit to the long haul don't look for exit doors. They realize that tough times never last, but tough people do.

The essential ingredients that team co-captains in the blended family must stir through are:

  1. understanding the importance of acceptance
  2. actualizing commitments
  3. working on communication
  4. learning how to be consistent
  5. setting disciplinary standards
  6. being flexible
  7. being impartial
  8. exhibiting patience
  9. building honest relationships
  10. displaying humility and selflessness

Most of the above things can be implemented with simple action steps:

  1. love
  2. hang in there
  3. talk lots
  4. stay on track
  5. give guidelines
  6. go with the flow
  7. treat everyone alike
  8. be cool
  9. tell the truth
  10. be a servant

Remember, in a blended family, everything all goes into the blender unless you are smart enough to separate the good from the bad before the motor starts.


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